Don't dream...

...It's over.

I'm not ready to make nice.

Things have changed, and so have I. Believe it or not, I'm not the person you all thought/think I was/am. You can't step all over me, you can't use me, you can't mess with me without my noticing or without my fighting back. I'm a very open minded person; I speak my mind. I'll say what's bothering me, I'll say if you're annoying me. Perhaps not in the most obvious of ways, but it'll be said.

I may not be the most social of people at times, and I apologize for liking my privacy. I revel in solitude. Just because we don't talk for a while doesn't mean I hate you, doesn't mean you've done anything wrong, and doesn't mean we're not friends anymore. Don't ask me what I think of you, don't ask me why we don't talk anymore, and don't assume things about me. When you make assumptions about me, it doesn't make me a veyr happy person.

I'm going to be honest: I am a bitch. A lot of the time I come off as a nice person, but I can be a bitch. When you annoy me or make me mad, I'll shy away from you and creep back to my solitude. If this offends you, too bad. That's who I am. And if that doesn't sit well with you, then we need to seriously reconsider our friendship.

Yes, I rant and rave about the little things in my life that I disagree with or dislike and I may not be very happy when you do the same, but too bad. That's who I am. I am a selfish, annoying, bitchy hermit that wants to focus on school for a while and stay out of the lives of her friends. I don't want to be included in your stupid, high school drama. I don't need it.

In my life, I've spent a lot of time focusing on trying to fix my friend's problems and taking the blame for what goes wrong in my famliy and frankly, I'm sick of it. I'd like to focus on myself and getting my life back to normal for once, (whatever normal is). If you don't like it, again too bad.

Waaaaah.

I have pneumonia.



I have to quit chorale.



:(

Hello, world!

Since numerous people seem to have not noticed I've been MIA for the last four days, I'll say it right now just to clarify: I, Brianna Kaylee Nutting, am sick. And for more clarity, I'll elaborate on my symptoms: Nausea 24/7, dizzyness, cough, headache, unbelievable pain everywhere, vomiting, and the unability to eat or sleep. Happy now? I would like to congratulate the three people that actually acknowleded the fact that I've been MIA for the last five days. Those three people are Stephen, Liz, and Sarah. Congrats on not having your heads up your asses and thanks for asking whether or not I'm still alive. These people are very good people due to the fact they didn't start accusing me of being something I'm not, asking my true opinion of them, or bitching at me about *insert topic I currently don't care about here*.

In addition to my sickness, I have the unfortunate pleasure of having the painters in for their monthly visit. I know: "Ew". But the combination of these two factors makes for one irritable and easily aggrivated Brianna. This means you should not do any of the following in my presence:

1) Ask me stupid questions,
2) Tell me things that don't apply to me,
3) Whine to me about your social life or lack thereof,
4)Pretend to have sympathy for me, or
5) In any way, shape, or form purposefully aggrivate me unless you would like another nice lecture about why you shouldn't do so.

Yes-This is how it's gonna be.

So...

Lately people I once considered best friends of mine have been completely contradicting who they are and what they stand for. I'm not going to name names, but I'm sure you're smart enough to figure out who you are.

After all...You were smart enough to figure out exactly what to say to me when I'm having relationship problems, right? Because laughing at the fact my boyfriend doesn't trust me is ay-okay in my book.

Another thing-When you hurt two of my best friends, don't expect me to sit back and spectate on the whole thing. You got me involved when you decided to betray the trust of everyone you were close to. There weren't only three people affected by the situation. And if you would keep your arrogant head out of your ass you might realize that. You may have straight A's, but your street smarts aren't exactly up-to-par.

I tried to forgive you, I really did. But something of this magnitude is hard to ignore. By the way, I'm not like "everyone else". I gave you multiple second chances and now I've had enough. Don't tell me that "this isn't how real friends act" because a real friend wouldn't have started this crap in the first place.

Uncertainty.

Uncertainty is a new thing for me. Generally, I'm certain of how I feel about something or about someone. Generally I'm certain of what's going on in my life and the lives of my friends. However, ever since a certain something happened, my already diminished trust for those around me is nearly gone. And all of a sudden, the people I felt I was so close to and could trust with anything are gone. They don't talk to me how they used to. They don't tell me what they used to. I used to be the person they would go to and confide in.

Did I do something to betray your trust?